


Be my fake boyfriend?

by InterruptingMoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A silly Billy who wants pancakes, AU, Alternate Universe, Azazel Being an Asshole, Castiel being a silly Billy, Destiel - Freeform, Emphasis that there will be fluff, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluff is a weird word when you repeat it, Foe Yay, Gabe and Balthy have a brief discussion as to whether or not Mikey could be in a porno, Hugs and Cuddles, I don't know what that tag means but I like it so I'm going to use it, I learned what foe yay means and I think that it is applicable, It's the first kiss in a fake relationship, Lucifer likes to call Michael princess, M/M, Michifer - Freeform, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Poor Michael, Sabriel - Freeform, Well - Freeform, fluffy fluff, i'll add more tags and characters later, mentions of abuse, more kisses, snuggles, yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-26 07:42:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2643755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterruptingMoose/pseuds/InterruptingMoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sooo… do you wanna go to her party to as a fake couple?" </p><p>"I'll think about it."</p><p>"Wait, Michael. Michael! Get back here and pretend to love me!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Michael had just picked up his brother Castiel's wedding attire from the dress shop and was about to head home when a man stopped in front of him.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" The man asked, he was quite good looking, he had short blonde messy hair and icy blue eyes and slight stubble.

"E-excuse me?" Michael stammered, completely taken by surprise by the man's forwardness. 

"Sorry, will you pretend to be my boyfriend for a few minutes. Please?" He asked.

"Why?" Michael asked, standing back slightly.

"My ex-girlfriend is kind if a nut." The man said, his eyes flicking over Michael's shoulder. "We broke up because I realised I was gay and she's kinda been stalking me for the past few months and is always asking if I have a new girlfriend or boyfriend." He explained quickly.

 

"And you're asking me because…?" Michael left the question hanging.

"Well, I figured if I had a boyfriend, aka you, she'll leave me alone." He explained. "Please?"

"O-okay." Michael said, feeling confused.

"Thank fuck." The man said, and took Michael's hand and dragged him forward. "What's your name?"

"Michael." Michael said and Lucifer laughed quietly. "What?" Michael asked, scrunching his eyebrows.

"We're Michael and Lucifer." The man, Lucifer, said and Michael's eyes widened slightly.

"Your name is Lucifer?" He asked in a disbelieving tone.

"Yeah." Lucifer replied. "Oh, here she is." Lucifer nodded to red-headed women gliding towards them.

"Lucifer, baby!" She called and Lucifer rolled his eyes, muttering a series of curse words under his breath. Michael couldn't help the quiet laugh that escaped him.

"Hello, Anna." He said with a forced smile.

Anna stopped in her tracks when she spotted Michael and Lucifer's intertwined hands. "Who's this?" She asked, with very falsely disguised anger and disgust.

"This is my boyfriend, Michael." Lucifer said, pulling Michael closer and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"You've never mention a Michael before." She said with a forced smile, her eyes trailing up and down Michael and then she outright glared at him.

Michael remained silent as she mentally judged him, looking anywhere but her.

"I didn't think he'd be your type." Anna said, bitterly, glaring at Michael once more and then turning to Lucifer with a flirtatious smile.

Michael felt his cheeks heat up and he looked down at his shoes. He looked up surprised when Lucifer tightened his grip around him and glared at Anna.

"How long have you been going out?" She asked, hands on her hips.

"Two and a half months." Lucifer replied casually. 

"How'd you meet?" Anna asked.

"Library." Lucifer said, making things up along the way.

"Has he met your family?" Anna asked, firing questions at her ex-boyfriend.

"No." Lucifer shrugged.

"What a shame." She smirked, she took out her phone and began tapping a message. "How would you two like to come to a little party and Michael, you could meet Lucifer's family?" She asked, emphasising Michael's name.

"Fine." Lucifer all but snapped at her and she huffed.

"Can't wait to see you there." She smirked, dancing her fingers across Lucifer's chest. She twirled around and walked away, swaying her hips as she went.

Now, Michael was quite a pleasant person, raised with manners and was always polite, but he couldn't help the comment that escaped his mouth when Anna was gone;

"What a bitch." 

Lucifer snorted and let go of Michael. "Thanks… sooo… do you wanna go to her party to as a fake couple?" He asked, with an extremely hopeful expression.

"I'll think about it." Michael shrugged and walked away, giving Lucifer a cheeky smile.

"Wait, Michael. Michael! Get back here and pretend to love me!"


	2. Princess Michael

"Where are you going?" Castiel asked, he and Dean looked up from the wedding plans they had agreed on… well, he decided and Dean had went along with.

"To meet my 'boyfriend' for some party." Michael said, using air quotations on the word boyfriend. He adjusted his shirt collar and slipped on his jacket. "I'll be home soon." He said and made his way to the café where he and Lucifer had agreed to meet.

"I didn't know he had a boyfriend." Dean said, turning to Castiel.

"I didn't know he was gay." Castiel replied.

……………

Michael tightened his coat around himself, shivering against the cold winds of December. 

Why had he agreed to pretend to be some stranger's boyfriend? Truthfully, he had been in a similar relationship a few years ago, he had a possessive boyfriend named Raphael. He had been controlling and demanding and Michael was glad that part of his life was over. But that was not a reason to pretend that he was sleeping with stranger.

He pushed open the café and was greeted by a comforting warmth and the chime of a bell. Lucifer was sitting at a far table, near the window, sipping a cup of coffee. Lucifer spotted his fake boyfriend and waved Michael over, a small smirk already in place.

Michael rolled his eyes as he made his way over to the blonde man and his infuriating smirk. Michael sat himself down across from Lucifer and folded his arms.

"I'm not happy about this arrangement." He muttered.

"Then why'd you agree to it?" Lucifer asked and that stupid smirk just grew.

"I could change my mind, you know." Michael reminded him, pouting.

"Whatever you say, princess." Lucifer said, and a light blush creeped up on Michael's cheeks.

"I hate you." Michael retorted. "And don't call me that." Lucifer just shrugged and leaned back into the couch.

Does he ever stop smirking?

"Well, the party doesn't start for another half hour, might as well get to know each other beforehand." Lucifer said and Michael shrugged out of his jacket.

"Do you want some coffee?" Lucifer asked as he stood up, heading towards the counter.

"I'll have a black coffee with two sugars." Michael said, reaching for his wallet.

"Don't worry, I'm paying, princess." Lucifer winked and left before Michael could object.

Michael closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. The quicker this is over, the better. He grunted when he felt a weight land on him.

"I swear to god, Lucifer, if that's you-" Michael began but a different voice replied, a voice that decidedly wasn't Lucifer's.

"Ooh, so that's his name?" Michael opened his eyes an was met with the questioning -and teasing- gaze of Charlie Bradbury, Castiel's best friend.

"Hello, Charlie." Michael said and she raised a suggestive eyebrow. "Nice to see you."

"Cut the crap - who's the man candy?" She asked, poking him playfully.

"He's just… a friend." Michael replied lamely.

"Suuuure, and Sherlock is just a detective." Charlie said, not believing a single word Michael had just said.

"Okay, fine." Michael sighed. "I'm pretending to be his boyfriend." And apparently the only words that Charlie heard were 'I'm', 'his' and 'boyfriend'.

"Ooh, so that's the guy Castiel was telling me about." Charlie grinned.

"What did Castiel tell you?" Michael asked.

"That you had a new loverrr." Charlie teased him. "Oh my god, I have to tell Jo." She said, whipping out her phone and began texting away.

"No, don't tell people that." Michael said, reaching for the phone but Charlie stood up - well, she rolled off of the couch and landed on her feet.

"Here comes your boyfriend." Charlie smirked and she skipped away. Lucifer looked at her weirdly for a moment and she assessed him. She turned back to Michael. "Nice." She said before skipping away, texting like crazy.

Lucifer had a very smug look on his face as he handed Michael his coffee. "Here you go, princess." He said and plopped down right next to Michael.

Michael shifted away from him but Lucifer just shifted next to him again and this carried in until Michael was at the very edge of the couch.

"You're annoying." He told Lucifer, folding his arms.

"It's a talent." Lucifer shrugged, and without warning, pulled Michael closer to him by the waist until Michael was practically sitting in his lap.

Lucifer looked down at his watch. "We've got twenty minutes." He grinned as Michael's cheeks were a deep scarlet. "So, tell me about yourself."


	3. Meet the Family

Michael wasn't really sure what to expect when they reached Anna's party, but much to his surprise, it was just like a family gathering that didn't really involve family. So just a gathering. 

There was a lot of strange faces that Michael didn't recognise but he did recognise Anna's fiery red hair as she sauntered toward them, her eyes focused solely on Lucifer. And who could blame her? He was rather attractive.

"Lucifer, so glad you could make it." She said, she was wearing a short, revealing red dress that contrasted with her pale skin. 

Michael noticed, but didn't really care, that she completely ignored his presence and continued to speak to Lucifer as though Michael wasn't there.

"Your mother is in the back room." Anna said in a sickly sweet voice. "She can't wait to meet your new… boyfriend." She practically sneered the word 'boyfriend'. "Mitchell, right?" She asked, finally acknowledging Michael, seeing as she had no other choice.

"Michael." Lucifer corrected her before Michael could even open his mouth. "His name is Michael."

Anna rolled her eyes and swatted Lucifer playfully. "I know, I was just kidding!" She giggled, and anyone could tell that it was fake.

"Well, I'll go greet my mom, you coming?" Lucifer asked, turning to Michael.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a second. I need a drink." Michael said, his throat felt dry. He just needed to keep up the fake boyfriend status for another hour or two and then the whole thing was done and dusted.

Lucifer pointed him in the direction of the kitchen and Michael followed that path, Anna was behind him and Michael could feel her glare burning into his back.

As soon as he was in the kitchen, which was empty, and out of Lucifer's view, Anna rounded on him.

"Lucifer is mine." She hissed in a low, harsh whisper. "Stay away from him."

Michael just remained silent at her angry tantrum, she ranted about how Lucifer belonged to her and they were the perfect couple.

"Anna." Came Lucifer's voice and Anna turned to him with a sweet smile. 

"Yes?" She asked, twirling her hair in her fingers.

"There's some girl out there looking for you, said it was important." Lucifer said and Anna reluctantly left the kitchen.

Michael let out a deep breath he hasn't realised he'd been holding in. He rested a shaky hand on the table to keep himself upright. Growing up, he'd never really been one for violence or anger.

"I'm so sorry." Lucifer apologised as he walked across the kitchen in a few simple strides until he was less than a metre away from him. Lucifer lifted his hand and rested it on Michael's cheek, who was still freaking out about Anna's rant. "Don't let her get to you." Lucifer murmured softly. 

Michael seemed to relax at Lucifer's touch, his hand reaching up and covering Lucifer's hand on his cheek but then the door slammed open to reveal a middle aged dark blonde women with an excited look in her eyes and a short man with a scruffy beard stood behind her, trying to insert a comment here and there.

"Becky, sweetheart, you're going to embarrass him-" The man began, but the woman, Becky, cut him off.

"No I'm not, Chuck, I just wanna meet the man who's been keeping my son happy." Becky replied and Lucifer sighed, shuffling closer to Michael to hide his face.

"Hello!" Becky greeted as she entered the kitchen, her arms flung forward and before Michael could register what was happening, he was being pulled into a hug by this strange woman and Chuck just let out a sigh and sent Michael and Lucifer an apologetic look.

"Mom. Mom, will you let him go?" Lucifer complained, pulling his mother away from Michael. "You're creeping him out."

"H-hello, Mrs. S-Shurley." Michael stuttered, he could feel his cheeks heating up. "Nice to meet you."

"Oh, please, call me Becky." Becky waved off the formal greeting. "What a handsome, young man, with manners, too. Why have you been hiding him from us?" Becky turned to her son.

"Why do you always have to embarrass me?" Lucifer whined.

"Because we're your parents, it's what we do." Chuck said, stepping forward and offering out his hand. "Chuck Shurley," he introduced himself.

"Michael Novak." Michael replied, accepting his hand and shaking it. "Nice to meet your, Mr. Shurley."

"Please, call me Chuck, Mr. Shurley was my father." Chuck laughed.

The door slammed open again and two men came in. One was short with golden hair and honey eyes to match whereas the other was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing a deep v-neck. They were both laughing as they stumbled into the room.

"Dude, Lilith and Anna are about to have a fight to the death be- why, who is this handsome fella?" The short man sauntered forward to Michael with a raised eyebrow.

"Gabriel, this my boyfriend, Michael." Lucifer said, wrapping an arm around Michael's waist. "Michael, this is my little, as you can obviously see, brother, Gabriel." Gabriel glared at him. "And this is his best friend, Balthazar Roché."

"Hello." Michael greeted, quietly.

"Enchanté." Balthazar purred, as be pushed Gabriel out of the way and came to stand in front of Michael.

"Dude, he's in a relationship with my brother." Gabriel huffed, giving the taller boy a shove.

"As if there's a rule against it." Balthazar drawled in a British accent as he rolled his eyes, crossing his arm over his chest.

"Well anyway, Luci, ex-girlfriend number one and ex-girlfriend number two are about to kill each other out there." Gabriel said, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the door and Lucifer sighed as he, Gabriel, Balthazar and Becky went to stop the fight.

It was just Michael and Chuck in the kitchen now. Michael stood awkwardly, looking down at his feet. 

"Listen." Chuck began. "I know Becky comes of as this crazy lady, and don't get me wrong, she is, but she's only trying to look out for her son." Chuck explained and Michael nodded in understanding.

"It's fine, Mr. Shurley." Michael shrugged, he had been the same with Castiel, Michael didn't really approve of his younger brother's past relationships.

"Well, I'm glad Lucifer has you to keep him happy, much rather you than that crazy red headed one." Chuck shuddered and Michael let out a quiet laugh, but he felt guilty since the whole relationship was a lie.

The door opened again and Gabriel came in, looking slight out out. Becky's voice carried through to the kitchen;

"And don't worry, one day, you'll find the perfect job and you'll be just like your father!"

"I don't wanna be a struggling writer!" Gabriel whined like a five year old.

"Hey." Chuck huffed, looking slightly offended.

……………

Somehow, the party had just turned in a different direction and everybody wanted to know about Michael and Lucifer's 'hidden' relationship, or as Becky liked to call them, Michifer.

Both boys made up everything as they went along, apparently they met two and half months ago, their first date was at the local fair and apparently, they were an extremely cute couple.

But then there were people like Gabriel and Balthazar who wanted to know when the 'got down and dirty'.

It was going relatively well until someone shouted;

"How about a kiss from the happy couple?"

Michael and Lucifer shared a quick glance.

"Listen, Michael, you don't have to-" Lucifer began to was cut off when Michael pressed his lips to his in a soft kiss.

Lucifer was surprised at first but soon melted into the kiss, threading his fingers through Michael's dark hair. He barely noticed the 'aww's ' that echoed around them.

When they finally pulled back, Lucifer rested his forehead against Michael's. 

"You didn't have to do that." Lucifer murmured quietly.

"Of course I did, have to keep up my fake relationship somehow." Michael said, making Lucifer smile.

"Thanks, I guess." Lucifer said and Michael shrugged it off.

……………

Castiel and Dean were looking at themes and decorations when Castiel's phone buzzed. Castiel looked at the new message, it was a picture from Jo. It was a picture of Michael kissing a blonde man.

"Good for him." Dean said, nodding his head in approval. "So, what these flowers?" He asked, pointing to a random bouquet of flowers in the magazine.

Castiel looked at the flowers and then back up at Dean. "Why do you want to ruin out wedding day?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter because I'm at loss for what to write...

"I think Anna's onto us." 

Michael was getting a drink when and he turned around Lucifer was right in his face.

"Jesus Christ!" Michael swore, his hand flying to his heart. "What the - what is wrong with you?"

"According to Anna, we aren't couple-y enough." Lucifer deadpanned, his nose pressed to Michael's. "Why aren't we couple-y enough?"

"I-I don't know." Michael replied, taken aback. "Are you trying to say that I'm not a good boyfriend?"

The door slammed open and Anna stormed into the kitchen and her eyes landed on them.

"Quick! Do something couple-y!" Lucifer muttered.

Michael panicked and pulled Lucifer into a kiss and next thing he knew, Lucifer accidentally let out a moan that bordered on the side of pornographic.

Anna huffed angrily, wide eyed and stomped out of the room. Michael pulled back and smirked as he watched Anna leave.

Lucifer stared Michael dumbfounded and looked back at him with an innocent and curious expression.

"What was that?" Lucifer demanded, trying to regain his composure.

"Hey, you were the one moaning like a cheap porn star." Michael replied.

"Where did you even learn to do that-?" Lucifer began but Gabriel barged into the kitchen.

"I heard you two were getting your sexy on." Gabriel smirked, leaning on the counter.

"No we weren't." Lucifer said and Gabriel assessed their positions, Michael's hands resting on Lucifer's hips and the extremely close proximity between them. "Uh huh." Gabriel nodded.

"So, Mikey, I get the feeling that you aren't in Banana Milton's good books." Gabriel said and Michael cocked his head to the side while Lucifer snorted.

"Banana Milton, really?" Lucifer asked, a smirk forming on his face. "What's Lilith's nickname?"

"Bitch uno." Gabriel replied casually. "Banana is Bitch dos."

"Nice." Lucifer said.

"I know." Gabriel shrugged.

Michael couldn't help but silently agree.

……………

"So, do you think Michael could be a model or porn star?" Gabriel asked, appearing out of nowhere and Lucifer jumped six feet in the air.

"WHAT?" Lucifer coughed, choking on his water.

"Well, he's hotter than any model I've seen and he looks like someone I would gladly be in a porno with." Gabriel shrugged nonchalantly.

"Yeah, me too." Balthazar commented, also appearing out of nowhere, almost giving Lucifer a heart attack.

"I highly doubt he'd be in a porn movie, he's too…" Lucifer tried to think of the right word. "Innocent." He concluded, but then he remember what happened in the kitchen and thought it over. "No, he's too innocent." He decided.

"I know he's your boy toy and all, but, innocent or not, I would tap that." Gabriel and Balthazar muttered, and Lucifer followed their line of vision to find that they were watching Michael's… lower half.

Lucifer adjusted his sleeves before he whacked them both on the back of the head. "Stop acting like horny teenage virgins." Lucifer said as they both pouted, rubbing the back of their head as they went to go bother other people.

Lucifer sat on the couch while Michael was talking to his mother and he was pretty sure that she was starting to love Michael more than her own sons. 

Lucifer's eyes flickered around the room in search of something to relieve his boredom but his wandering gaze landed on Michael. 

Lucifer kept trying to look away but his eyes travelled down the toned body and stopped on Gabriel and Balthazar's 'place of interest'.

And so Lucifer spent the next ten minutes watching Michael's… lower half.

He had great taste in fake boyfriends.

……………

Okay, so Michael was 99.9 percent sure that Anna was stalking him around the house, and if she wasn't stalking him, she was flirting with Lucifer.

Once he was sure he was out of her sight, he made a beeline for the kitchen, where he had spent most of the party anyways.

The kitchen was relatively empty, save for a few unfamiliar faces hanging around and talking with their friends.

Michael sat down at the table, running a hand through his neatly combed, making a mess of it. He sat comfortably for a little while, finally free from being stalked and lying to complete strangers.

"Hello, Michael."

Michael felt his stomach drop and then he felt anger flare within him as he stood up and confronted the man behind him.

"Azazel." Michael replied and the yellow-eyed man smirked.

"What has you here?" Azazel asked, as though they were old friends.

"I'm here with Lucifer." Michael replied, and held back a smirk when Azazel's smirk fell.

"Why're you here with him?" Azazel all but snapped at Michael, but he was not about to be criticised by some asshole… or as Castiel often referred to him; assbutt.

"He's my… boyfriend." Michael replied, a little hesitant.

Azazel leered at him, his eyes travelling down Michael's body. "I was your boyfriend." He said casually, and the irritating smirk appeared again.

"No, you were a mistake." Michael corrected him.

"What? Does that mean we can't get back together?" Azazel asked, feigning innocence as he watched Michael with a look in his eyes that physically repulsed Michael. Both men didn't seem to notice when Lucifer waltzed into the kitchen.

"Like hell I would even consider getting back together with you." Michael replied, backing away from Azazel slightly, but the yellow-eyed man took a few steps forward until he was right in Michael's personal space.

"Why not? I could treat you better than this Lucifer." Azazel said, being the arrogant prick he was.

Lucifer did a silent, offended double take behind Azazel, rolling up his sleeves as though he were getting ready to beat the living crap out of the man, but then another thought came to him.

It was clear that Azazel had something for his Michael - I mean, uh, his fake boyfriend. C'mon, he hardly knew Michael.

That, however, did not stop what he did next just to get a reaction out of Azazel.

"Hi, sweetheart." Was the last thing Michael heard before Azazel was roughly shoved out of his way and Lucifer pressed him up against the wall and proceeded to kiss the older boy senseless, and it did look as though it was the beginning of a freaking porn movie. 

Azazel stood there in shock, and anger, until Lucifer finally (read: reluctantly) pulled away leaving Michael with a rather dazed look on his face.

"Can I help you?" Lucifer asked politely, his voice as smooth as silk with a bite of arrogance to it.

Azazel was still too startled to reply.

"Well, if you're gonna stand and watch." Lucifer shrugged, a smirk forming on his face as he turned back to Michael and kissed him again while Azazel huffed and stormed out of the room, much like Anna had done earlier.

The two man continued to play tonsil hockey until Gabriel and Balthazar came tumbling through the door.

Michael looked around. When did Azazel leave?

"We heard you were getting your sexy on… again." Balthazar smirked.

"No, we're not." Michael rolled his eyes, although his and Lucifer's limbs were still tangled together.

"Why do we always miss the good stuff?" Gabriel whined like a five year old as he and Balthazar left the kitchen.

"What the hell was that?" Michael asked, his earlier thoughts finally catching up with him.

"That was me saving you from a forced conversation and restoring my boyfriend…ity?" Lucifer shrugged. "The party is practically over anyway, I'll drop you home." Lucifer offered and they made their way to his car.

On the drive to Michael's house, it started to snow very heavily and once they reached Michael's house, the streets were covered in ice and thick blankets of snow.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Michael asked and Lucifer smirked.

"Well, usually I don't sleep with strangers but I'll make an exception for you." The blonde winked and Michael rolled his eyes.

"It's too dangerous to drive home in this weather, you can sleep in the spare room." Michael offered. 

Lucifer agreed.

……………

The next day, Castiel woke up and made his way to the kitchen where Michael was making coffee and there was a strange blonde man sitting at his table eating cereal.

Castiel looked at Michael. "Who the fuck is this?" He then turned to Lucifer. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Castiel, this is Lucifer." Michael replied and said man smirked at him.

"Oh, I didn't realise that we had invited the Devil to breakfast." Castiel said and Michael rolled his eyes, but Lucifer's smirk grew.

"He's not as bad as he looks." Michael said and Castiel nodded in understanding. "Don't judge him too harshly."

"Okie-dokie." Castiel agreed.

"Who's this?" Dean asked as he entered the kitchen.

"Satan." Castiel replied.


	5. Michael's Childhood

"Do you need me to pick anything up while I'm out today?" Michael asked Castiel as he sat down at the kitchen table, Dean was making bacon and Lucifer was pouring himself more cereal.

"I don't know, it's really snowy outside." Castiel commented. "I think you should just stay inside today." 

"Alright." Michael agreed, he did not feel like going out into the frozen water covered town.

"You and the Adversary over there can sit in and do romantic stuff. Dean and I have are spending the night at Mary and John's." Castiel explained, making Michael roll his eyes.

"The Adversary? Really?" Michael snorted.

"Fine, you and Beelzebub can spend all day doing nothing. Romantic nothing." Castiel replied.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Michael asked.

"It's basically means that you two can spend the whole day going at it." Dean said, shoving the last piece of bacon into his mouth before dragging Castiel away, muttering about how they were going to be late.

Michael sat blushing in his seat, hoping that he would just drown in his coffee, especially when Lucifer sat down next to him, scooting his chair closer to him until their sides were touching. 

"I like that idea." Lucifer smirked, walking his fingers across Michael's leg.

Michael sighed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. 

"What?" Lucifer asked, laughing as Michael left the room with a look that said "I've known you for like three day and I'm already done with your shit'.

...............

Michael was doing research into Dean and Castiel's venue choice, since those two lazy motherfuckers had picked everything themselves but left Michael to do the work for them.

Lucifer was exploring around the house out of boredom since he couldn't go home because of the weather.

Lucifer had been annoying Michael all day, asking him stupid questions and telling him pointless facts.

And to add to his luck, there was a power cut due to the weather and the temperature dropped like a stone.

The house was freezing and Michael was sure icicles would start to appear soon. He shivered as he curled up on the couch, pulling the blankets tighter around himself.

"I'm going to die." He said and Lucifer sat down next to him.

"Come here." Lucifer said, holding his arms out.

"No, it's cold." Michael whined.

"Come here, come to daddy." Lucifer smirked. "Come sit in daddy's lap." He emphasised his joke by patting his lap.

"I regret agreeing to pretending to be your boyfriend." Michael said, lightly kicking Lucifer with his foot.

Lucifer smirked again and silently got up and jumped on Michael, who grunted in pain and fell off the couch and Lucifer came tumbling down after him.

"Hey, you're kinda warm." Lucifer said, wrapping his arms around Michael's waist and snuggling closer to him.

"You're not." Michael replied, trying to push Lucifer away from him. "Let go." He whined like a child.

"No." Lucifer refused stubbornly.

"Let go." Michael said, shivering again.

"No." Lucifer replied. 

"Let go."

"No." 

Michael sighed, picking up the blankets and wrapping them around himself and Lucifer, and both men still hadn't bothered to get off the floor.

They sat for a while, cuddling under the blankets on the floor, though neither of them would admit that, just enjoying the comfortable silence until Michael began to fall asleep, shifting in his position and resting his head on Lucifer's shoulder.

Lucifer assessed him for a little bit. He was... beautiful, to say the least, even more so when he was asleep. He looked more peaceful and at ease. He had known Michael for three days and if he was honest with himself, it had been the best three days of his life. He didn't have to lie about who he was and he was comfortable with his sexuality around Michael, he didn't have to worry about Anna because he had been to distracted by Michael and he was generally just happy around Michael. Michael was good people.

He placed a soft kiss on Michael's forehead, as he began to drift off to sleep. He didn't notice the small smile that had crept onto Michael's face but he could've sworn he felt Michael kiss his cheek before he fell asleep.

...............

Both men woke up later that night, around midnight and the power was still down. And they were still on the floor.

"Hey." Lucifer yawned, stretching his arms.

"Hi." Michael replied, a smile gracing his features.

"Bonjour." Charlie said from the couch and both men screamed very unmanly screams.

"What is wrong with you?" Lucifer asked, clutching Michael tightly, fear in his eyes.

"How did you even get in here?" Michael asked, clinging to Lucifer for all he was worth.

"Just passing through, but hey, say cheese!" Charlie grinned, whipping out her phone and snapping a picture of the two men who looked like they were in the middle of getting their sexy time on.

Michael flattened his hair and shirt but Lucifer just shrugged. 

"I'm so putting this on tumblr." Charlie muttered, saving the picture into her tumblr album. She then got up and crawled in between them and held up the camera for all three of them.

"Say cheese." She grinned again as the flash went off.

"Cheese." Both men said, although Michael was more monotonous and Lucifer yelled with excitement.

"So," Charlie began, shoving her phone back into her pocket, "everybody can't wait to meet your boy toy." She told Michael, and his cheeks began to heat up. "Especially Mary and Ellen. You know how they constantly fuss about you. Hey, I'm Charlie." She added, turning to Lucifer.

"Lucifer." Lucifer greeted.

"Kinky." She said, raising a suggestive eyebrow at Lucifer and then at Michael and Lucifer looked quite smug.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Michael asked. 

"You always ruin my fun." Charlie said. "Speaking of fun, I heard you had quite a bit of it yesterday." She smirked, taking out her phone again.

"What do you m-" Michael began but then his eyes widened in shock. "Where did you get that?"

Charlie cackled evilly at the picture of Michael and Lucifer kissing. "Jo sent it to everybody, she was at the same party as you, I guess. Well anyone, do you know Anna Milton?" She asked them, and without giving them a chance to answer she launched into her story.

"She's like a class A bitch. Well, anyways, she has this ex - boyfriend, named Lucas or something, and he came out a few months ago and she's been really angry about it. And Lucas or whatever has this new boyfriend, called like Matthew or something like that, and apparently he's like super gorgeous, I mean like extremely hot and she's totally jealous of them because they were all over each other and apparently she really hates this Matthew guy for absolutely no reason and she plans on breaking them up." She finished her story, with a nodded that said 'yeah, she's a crazy bitch'.

"Did you see them?" Charlie asked and both men shared a look. She looked between them expectantly, and then slowly, realisation dawned on her features before she excitedly elbowed them, rather painfully, in the ribs. "Oh my god, it's you two!" She squealed. 

"Oh my god, she's going to try and ruin your relationship! That bitch! Don't worry, I've got your back!" She said and began to furiously type a message on her phone.

"It's fine, Charlie, nothing can break me and my little Mikemallow apart." Lucifer said, reaching across Charlie to take Michael's hand in his own and giving it a light squeeze.

Michael glared at him and Lucifer gave him a cheesy grin.

"So, how is your love life, Charlie?" Michael asked as she aww'd at them. 

"Complicated." She shrugged. 

"Are you still part of that three way relationship?" Michael questioned. 

"Yep." Charlie smirked. 

"My brother's friend, Balthazar is part of a three way relationship too." Lucifer said.

"You know Balthazar?" Charlie asked.

"You're Charlie? Like Jo and Charlie?" Lucifer asked.

"Sure am." She said.

"Why's it complicated?" Lucifer asked. 

"Charlie is gay." Michael supplied and the red head in question nodded in agreement. "Jo is bisexual and Balthazar seems like he would sleep with any living creature. No offence to him."

"If you're gay...?" Lucifer began.

"Jo." Charlie said as she began to get up from between them and then pushing them closer together. "Well, I guess I should say that you'd better be careful, it's not a good thing to be in Anna Milton bad books. I'll see you later." She waved as she left the house and Michael sighed.

"I don't like lying to her." Michael murmured. "I don't like lying to people. We're complete strangers pretending to be a couple." 

"Well, tell me about yourself." Lucifer suggested. "I'll go first. My name is Lucifer Shurley, I have a younger brother named Gabriel, my parents names are Rebecca, or Becky, and Chuck Shurley. I had a normal childhood, I had friends and toys and I now attend Kansas University where I am currently studying Philosophy and Math. I don't know what I want to be when I'm done with college. My favourite colour is green and you are my first 'boyfriend'." He finished. "Tell me about you."

Michael hesitated and took a deep breath. "Uh, my name is Michael Novak, I have one younger brother named Castiel and my mother is, uh, dead and I don't, um, well, really... know, uh... where my father...is." Michael said awkwardly. "My favourite colour is blue, I guess and you, uh, aren't my first boyfriend..?" He finished just as awkwardly as he had started.

"You need to loosen up." Lucifer said. "Relax a little. You always seem on edge. I think a drink will make you feel better." He said as he stood up and Michael shrugged. "Do you have any whiskey?"

"Cupboard under the sink." Michael replied and Lucifer went to get it. He rummaged through the cupboard until he found the auburn drink. 

"Hey, you have a voice mail on your phone!" Lucifer called as he retrieved two glasses, noticing the constant light flashing on and off on Michael's phone.

"What does it say?" Michael called back and Lucifer pressed play to listen to it.

"Hey, Michael, it's Mary." A female voice said. "I heard that you have a new boyfriend and I guess I'm just calling to see how you are. I mean, I know you don't like being in relationships and well, Castiel's a little worried about you, especially since Alistair. But he said that, Lucifer, is it? Well, he said that he seems okay but you know that if you ever need to talk you can always come to me or Ellen or John or Bobby. We'll always be here for you, sweetheart. John says hi. I have to go, love you, bye!"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. Who the hell was Alistair? And why didn't Michael like relationships? And why was Castiel worried? He shook his head and made his way back to the living room.

Michael had lit candles around the room since the electricity was still down. 

"Candles? Why, princess, I did not know that you were such a romantic." Lucifer smirked as he sat down on the couch next to Michael. 

"Who left the message?" Michael asked as he watched Lucifer pour two glasses of whiskey.

"Some girl named Mary. Said Castiel was worried about you especially since Alistair." Lucifer shrugged. "Who's Alistair?"

"Nobody important." Michael shrugged and Lucifer could see right through his lie. 

"I feel like this would be a lot easier if we were completely wasted." Lucifer handed Michael a glass of whiskey. "Cheers." He clinked their glasses together.

...............

Many, many, many shots of whiskey later, the sun was beginning to rise and the conversation had become much more personal and secrets began to spill.

"... and that is why I am afraid of geese." Lucifer finished and Michael was fell forward laughing, making Lucifer laugh even harder. "So, serious now, what was your childhood like?" 

Michael sighed, a tired grin on his face. "Long." He replied.

"I've got time." Lucifer said, sincerely, swaying slightly.

"Well, I guess it began in the first grade, when my mother committed suicide." Michael said and Lucifer sobered up slightly. "And my father became an alcoholic and abusive towards me. He would beat me up everyday, until I was left barely conscious, and I... I just prayed that he would never hurt Castiel. 

As I grew up, money became a problem. My father would spend it on alcohol and, occasionally, drugs. From the age of six, I would look after Castiel, I would bring him to school, feed him and put him to bed. When I was twelve I got my first part time job as a waiter, when I lied about my age and my grades started to fall in school. By the age of fifteen, I was working three part time jobs. My grades were worse than ever and eventually I dropped out of school to look after Castiel. 

The abuse was still going on, but Castiel never knew about it and my father was away most of the time, so it wasn't that bad. It would usually be me and Castiel on our own for months on end, struggling to make a living. Eventually my father just disappeared, and we never saw him again.

I had been in a few relationships, by this point, all of which didn't work out but then I met Alistair." Michael paused for a short while, he seemed hesitant and Lucifer placed a comforting hand on Michael's.

"He kind of... took me and Castiel in. I was sixteen and I was desperate. He was... thirty four and he promised he would treat us right. He made sure Castiel had enough to eat and was up to date with fashion and trends and technology and what not-" Michael began but Lucifer interrupted him.

"You were sixteen and in a relationship with a thirty four year old man. I'm pretty sure that's illegal." Lucifer said. 

"I was desperate." Michael whispered and Lucifer frowned, pulling the older boy closer. "But Alistair quickly started to become just like my dad, only worse. He would beat me and threaten me but I didn't say anything for Castiel's sake. He was healthy and happy so I took the beatings and the alcoholic rage all1 over again. Just like with my dad."

"How did you get out?" Lucifer asked. 

"I was working in Ellen's, Jo's mom's, bar and she and Mary started to notice 'things'. And that's how everybody found out. That's how Castiel found out. Bobby and John decided to pay Alistair a visit and I never saw him again." Michael said, trying to subtly wipe tears out of his eyes. 

"Michael, I..." But Lucifer was at a loss for words so he pulled Michael closer and held him in his arms. He wiped the tears off of Michael's cheeks. 

"If I was your boyfriend, I would treat you like a prince, just like you deserve." Lucifer said and Michael looked up at him.

"Really?" Michael asked, his green eyes were glossy and his dark hair messy. Lucifer's breath caught in his throat, he hadn't quite realised just how close Michael's face was to his.

Lucifer nodded slowly and he and Michael stared into each other's eyes for a short while until Michael suddenly leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

On some level, Lucifer knew he was probably just doing this because he drunk and vulnerable but he was too drunk to stop himself and he kissed Michael back. 

Lucifer pulled Michael closer, until Michael was straddling his lap. He leaned back, falling back onto the couch.

As things were about to get... interesting, Castiel and Dean chose that moment to enter the house. 

"GOOD MORNIN - OH MY GOD! MY EYES!" Dean yelled, covering his eyes.

"Hey, what happened to the electric - OH, DEAR LORD! " Castiel screamed and Michael and Lucifer automatically sat up, Michael was blushing and Lucifer was pouting. 

"We were just getting to the good part." Lucifer whined and Michael rolled his eyes and Castiel and Dean went to leave their bags in their room.

"I'm so sorry, I don't what came over me." Michael apologised, running his hand through his hair. 

"It's fine." Lucifer said as he stood up and swayed dangerously from side to side, offering his hand out. "I'll take you to bed, you're too drunk." Lucifer said as he pulled Michael to his feet. The two men stumbled to Michael's bedroom, where they passed Dean and Castiel.

"Remember guys, use protection!" Dean called.

"We mean it! Safe sex is fun sex! Remember that! SAFE SEX IS FUN SEX!" Castiel yelled after them.

"Well, I would say goodnight but it's morning so good morning. Sleep well." Lucifer said once they reached Michael's room.

"You too." Michael said as he collapsed onto the bed, accidentally dragging Lucifer down with him and both men fell asleep as soon as they hit the mattress.

"I swear to god if you two aren't using protection, I - oh." Castiel stopped short once he saw the two men sleeping. "Aww, well aren't you two adorable?" He whispered as he pulled the blankets over them. 

"You better not hurt him." Castiel threatened a sleeping Lucifer, whispering so that he didn't wake them up. "Or else I will kick your ass. Now, I have to go force Dean to go to the store and buy me pancakes because we're out and we have no electricity to make some. Maybe I should make him pick up some coffee too, do you guys want coffee? Wait... you're sleeping. Who the fuck am I talking to?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I haven't updated in over a year but I'm back now yay

"Rise and shine, sleepin' beauties!" A female voice yelled with far too much optimism before she yanked the curtains open and bright light flooded into Michael's bedroom.

Before Michael and Lucifer could register what was going on, the blankets were torn off of them and the cold air swept over them.

"Wha' goin' on?" Lucifer asked, flinching away from the bright light and burying his head under the blankets that he and Michael had pulled back.

"Mary, why are yelling? It's like two in the morning." Michael whispered, trying to ease his pounding headache.

"It's eight a.m. so let's have you, lazy daisy." Mary grinned, pulling the blankets back from them once more and throwing them on the ground. "C'mon, Adam's finally letting us meet his boyfriend and he's here, so let's go." 

Michael and Lucifer both whined, snuggling closer together to keep warm. 

"Castiel's right, you two are adorable." Mary cooed as she grabbed both of them by the ankles and dragged them off of the bed. They both glared at her from the floor and she smiled.

"I've made breakfast so hurry." She patted them both on the head, making them flinch and then practically skipped out the door. 

"So, that's Mary?" Lucifer asked, his eyes drooping before he fell back asleep on the floor. 

"That's Mary." Michael murmured as he slumped and fell forward, using Lucifer as a pillow, and pulled the blankets back around them as he fell fast asleep.

...............

"Good morning!" Mary yelled happily as she cooked breakfast.

Michael smiled at her, inwardly flinching at her optimism. He and Lucifer sat down at the table, where John, Bobby, Adam and Samandriel, they assumed, were already seated.

"Hey there, snugabunny." Jo said as she enveloped Michael into a hug from behind.

"You're someone that terrifies the majority of the town, and yet you still call me Snugabunny." Michael raised an unimpressed eyebrow at her, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Fine then, snickerdoodle." Jo grinned.

Michael rolled his eyes, grinning as he sipped his coffee. "Hello, Joanna." He finally greeted her properly.

"Ugh, Joanna. Only she calls me that." Jo replied, heavily emphasising the word 'she' and nodding her head on Ellen's direction. She finally turned towards Lucifer, who looked as though he were ready to fall asleep on the table.

"You must be snugabunny's snugglebunny." She grinned. "I've heard so little about you." She admitted and said snugglebunny shrugged. 

"Well, what can ya do?" Lucifer replied.

"Do we have candy?" 

"Do we have alcohol?" 

Gabriel and Balthazar burst into Michael's kitchen and were kindly told to 'sit their asses down' by Ellen.

"Heya, Mikey, what're you doing here?" Gabriel asked.

"It's my house. I live here. What are you doing here?" Michael deadpanned.

"Mary invited us." Balthazar shrugged. "Morning, sweetheart." He greeted Jo, who sat down on his lap and pecked his lips.

"Why are there so many people in my kitchen?" Castiel asked as he walked in, Dean following behind, carrying a barely conscious and sleepy Charlie. Dean and Charlie went to try and steal food from Mary's cooking whilst Castiel plopped down next to Michael on the table, seeing as complete strangers had taken his chairs and counters. 

"So, Michael, your birthday is coming up soon." Castiel commented in what he hoped was an offhand voice.

"I am aware of when my birthday is, Castiel." Michael replied, because even when he was hungover, he still had to be sarcastic.

"What do you want to do for it?" Castiel asked excitedly and everyone else seemed to grow excited with him.

"Nothing." Michael replied and everyone let out a disappointed 'aww'.

"Satan, make him do something special for his birthday." Castiel whined to Lucifer.

Everyone turned their attention to Lucifer and he shrugged. "We'll throw a party?" He suggested and everyone cheered, except Michael.

"Thank you, Beelzebub." Castiel said.

"Guess who?" A voice asked as an oversized teenager with long brown hair appeared in the doorway.

"Sammy!" The Winchesters called but were ignored as Sam practically ran at Michael and tackled him into a hug, like he had done when he was younger.

"Hey, Sam." Michael grinned, returning the hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I woke up and my house was empty." Sam shrugged. "What are you all doing here?" 

"We're making plans for Michael's birthday party!" Dean announced and everyone cheered after. But then everyone gave Michael a pointed look. "It'll be a surprise so you need to act surprised." Dean said. "And if it's a surprise, you can't see the planning."

Michael raised an eyebrow at Dean. "Meaning?" He asked.

"I think everybody would think it better if you weren't here." Castiel whispered, rather loudly, to him.

"Well, it's a pity everybody doesn't pay the bills." Michael replied, adjusting the newspaper and continuing to read.

"Wait. Is the snow storm gone?" Lucifer asked Balthazar and Gabriel. 

"Not really." They replied.

"Then how did you get here?" Lucifer asked. 

"We skated." Gabriel grinned. "It had gone down a little but then it picked right up." He added.

"Pretty badly, too." John said, nodding towards the window, where outside could barely be seen as the snow fell heavily to the ground.

After breakfast, Castiel pulled Lucifer aside to speak with him.

"What are you getting Michael for his birthday?" He asked. 

"I don't know." Lucifer replied, panicking a little on the inside. This was supposed to be a fake relationship and it was only supposed to last an hour or so originally. They couldn't "break up" before Michael's birthday. Everyone would think Michael was sad and they'd get angry at Lucifer and Castiel would murder him.

"Well, he's never really celebrated his birthday and it's always hard to find a gift for him because he always says he doesn't want anything. Has he hinted at anything he might like?" Castiel asked.

Lucifer felt a pang of sadness. "Why hasn't he ever celebrated his birthday?" He asked, ignoring Castiel's question. Of course, he could guess but he needed to confirm it.

Castiel seemed to hesitate for a moment. "Our dad was a douchenozzle." That confirmed it. 

"He hasn't hinted at anything." Lucifer replied.

"Damn him and his wicked ways." Castiel cursed as he made his way back to the kitchen.

Lucifer looked through the door into the kitchen, where Michael was smiling and laughing with Samandriel and Adam. He felt a pang of sadness washing over him again. Michael had been so sweet to everybody yet he had been treaty terribly for most of his life.

................

Michael was seated on his bed, eyes closed as he tried to ease his nausea. This was going well until someone jumped on top of him. Michael shoved him onto the bed.

"Hey." Lucifer said. "What do you want for your birthday?" 

"Nothing. You don't have to get me anything." Michael replied.

"I do, because you're the best fake boyfriend I could ever ask for." Lucifer said optimistically.

"No. Don't get me anything." Michael said and Lucifer dropped it. For now.

"Let's play twenty questions." Lucifer suggested. "I'm bored."

"Fine, but you can't ask me what I want for my birthday." Michael deadpanned and Lucifer pouted but agreed anyway.

"Okay, so... who was your first crush?" Lucifer asked.

"Mr. Elwood, my fifth grade teacher." Michael replied, he then poked Lucifer for his reply. 

"Hmm, I think mine was in kindergarten. I don't know if it counts. I can't remember his name but he gave me half of his cookie and I was in love. We used to talk but he was really quiet and shy and didn't say much and he moved away, taking my dreams with him." He sighed dramatically, making Michael laugh. 

During the game of 20 questions, Michael had learned that Lucifer had once gotten so mad at Gabriel that he yelled that Santa wasn't real whereas Castiel had believed in Santa until he nineteen because Michael didn't know how to tell him the truth.

Lucifer also learned that Michael didn't know or learn how to read until he was fifteen because he would constantly miss school and moved from place to place frequently whilst trying to take care of Castiel and their father. 

They were interrupted when Castiel came in, wanting to talk to Michael. Lucifer excused himself and Castiel plopped down onto the bed, snuggling next to Michael, like he had done when he was younger.

"Michael, do you think I should be getting married so young?" Castiel asked, looking up at Michael with wide blue eyes. 

"If you're happy and you're sure you want this, I see no reason not to. What's with the change of heart all of a sudden?" Michael asked.

Castiel hesitated before he spoke. "Mum and dad got married at my age." He said quietly. 

Realisation dawned on Michael and he wrapped his arms around Castiel, placing a kiss on his brother's hair.

"You are not going to end up like mum and dad." Michael replied. "Mum and dad were pressured into getting married because she fell pregnant. And you are not pregnant." He explained.

"What was she like?" Castiel asked, even though he knew Michael's description of their mother off by heart. As a child, he would ask the same question every night before he went to sleep and he had memorised every word.

"She was beautiful. She had dark hair, like us, only hers was long and wavy, and she had pale skin, like us too." Michael began, and Castiel mouthed along to every word. "You have her eyes, Castiel, and her smile. She used to sing you to sleep every night, the same lullaby each night.

She used to bake every single day. Cakes, cupcakes, scones - everything. And when she set one in front of you, you would smash your face into it and get icing all over your nose, your cheeks and your mouth. We used to go to the park and push you on the swings and go down the slide. Her favourite was always the monkey bars, she used to climb them to embarrass us but we loved her all the same. She was a big child at heart. She used to push the shopping cart really fast and then jump in it. We would build forts together and they would always collapse on us. She used to laugh so much, her laugh was beautiful and so uplifting. She was our best friend and we were hers.

She loved you so much, Castiel. She'd be so proud of you." Michael whispered the last few sentences.

"She'd be proud of you too." Castiel said. "She'd be proud of how you raised me. You've sacrificed everything for me, and if I had to, I'd do the same for you."

Michael smiled down at him, hugging Castiel a little closer.

"I should probably go help Dean with the planning before he ruins my wedding." Castiel sighed.

"Your wedding?" Michael raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, before he ruins our wedding." Castiel replied, heavily emphasising the word 'our' sarcastically. 

Lucifer came skipping back through the door and hopped onto the bed.

"Twenty questions?" He suggested, and Michael nodddd. "So... what do you want for your birthday?" Lucifer asked.

Michael pushed him off of the bed.


End file.
